Well, get ready to kickstart your funny bone into overdrive with our collection of weekend jokes!
These rib-tickling tales will have you laughing your way into Saturday and Sunday, leaving those weekday blues in the dust.
94 Hilarious Weekend Jokes
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
3. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
4. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain!
5. What do you call a pile of puppies? Adorable!
6. What do you call a pile of leaves? A leaf-hill!
7. Why couldn’t the pony sing? He was a little horse!
8. What do you call a pile of frogs? An army!
9. What do you call a pile of elephants? A forgetful!
10. What do you call a pile of cows? A moo-dle!
11. What do you call a pile of pigs? A gruntle!
12. What do you call a pile of ducks? A flockle!
13. What do you call a pile of sheep? A flockle!
14. What do you call a pile of bears? A grum-ble!
15. What do you call a pile of turkeys? A gobble!
16. What do you call a pile of chickens? A cluck-le!
17. What do you call a pile of fish? A school!
18. What do you call a pile of snakes? A sss-emble!
19. What do you call a pile of rabbits? A hutch-full!
20. Why did the scarecrow always look forward to the weekend? Because it was finally time to let loose and have a hay-larious time!
21. What did the big rock say to the little pebble on the weekend? “You better rock and roll, my friend!”
22. Why did the calendar refuse to go out on weekends? Because it already had “dates” planned!
23. How do trees celebrate the weekend? They branch out and have a leaf-ly good time!
24. Why did the computer go to the beach on the weekend? To surf the internet, of course!
25. What do you call a weekend in outer space? A stellar escape!
26. Why did the football coach bring string to the game on the weekend? He wanted to tie the score!
27. How do rabbits spend their weekends? Hopping from one adventure to another!
28. What did the sun say to the weekend? “I’m just gonna relax and ray!”
29. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the weekend game? In case he got a hole in one!
30. How do chefs relax on the weekend? They whisk themselves away to a culinary retreat!
31. Why did the scarecrow start a band on the weekend? Because it had outstanding straw-nalities!
32. What did the banana say to the weekend? “Peel good, feel good!”
33. How do you make a weekend disappear? Just say “Monday” three times!
34. Why did the bicycle go to the library on the weekend? It wanted to learn how to ride between the lines!
35. How does a mushroom party on the weekend? It spores up the dance floor!
36. What did the coffee say to the weekend? “Let’s brew-some fun together!”
37. Why did the math book hate the weekend? It couldn’t handle all the problems!
38. How do bears spend their weekends? They have a paws-itively great time!
39. Why was the tomato blushing on the weekend? It saw the salad dressing!
40. What do you call a weekend that only lasts for a few seconds? A blink-end!
41. Why did the scarecrow take up yoga on the weekend? It wanted to find its inner pea!
42. How do ants enjoy the weekend? They have a picnic with their ant-cestors!
43. What do you call a weekend that’s shaped like a triangle? An acute-end!
44. Why did the snail bring an umbrella on the weekend? In case it rained on its slow crawl!
45. How do farmers relax on the weekend? They turnip the beet and dance in the cabbage patch!
46. What do bees do on the weekend? They buzz around and have a honey of a time!
47. Why did the musician go fishing on the weekend? Because they wanted to catch some bass!
48. How do dogs spend their weekends? They fetch a whole lot of fun!
49. What did the tree say to the weekend? “I’m falling for you!”
50. Why did the cat bring a ladder on the weekend? It wanted to reach new heights of purr-fection!
51. How does lightning enjoy the weekend? It strikes up conversations wherever it goes!
52. What do you call a weekend in the desert? A mirage-tiful escape!
53. Why did the skeleton go to the party on the weekend? Because it had nobody else to hang out with!
54. How do astronauts relax on the weekend? They space out and enjoy zero gravity!
55. What did the ocean say to the weekend? “Tide and seek!”
56. Why did the cookie go to the gym on the weekend? It wanted to work on its wafer-thin figure!
57. How do monkeys spend their weekends? They swing by and monkey around!
58. What do you call a weekend with lots of rain? A pour-end!
59. Why did the light bulb go on vacation on the weekend? It needed to recharge its brightness!
60. How do artists enjoy the weekend? They brush up on their painting skills!
61. What do you call a weekend that’s also a musical instrument? A drumroll-end!
62. Why did the tomato turn red on the weekend? It saw the salad dressing undressing!
63. How do frogs spend their weekends? They ribbit the night away!
64. What did the mountain say to the weekend? “Rock on!”
65. Why did the donut go to the dentist on the weekend? It needed a filling!
66. How do birds relax on the weekend? They wing it and enjoy the chirpy atmosphere!
67. What do you call a weekend that’s also a pirate’s favorite drink? A weekendy Rumday!
68. Why did the teddy bear go skydiving on the weekend? It wanted to show its plush side!
69. How do owls spend their weekends? They stay up late and have a hoot!
70. What did the pen say to the weekend? “Let’s ink-joy ourselves!”
71. Why did the clock get in trouble on the weekend? It couldn’t keep its hands to itself!
72. How do ghosts party on the weekend? They have a boo-tiful time!
73. What do you call a weekend that’s also a type of cheese? A cheddar-end!
74. Why did the chair go to the beach on the weekend? It needed to relax and get some sun-seating!
75. How do squirrels spend their weekends? They go nuts with excitement!
76. What did the flower say to the weekend? “I’m blooming with joy!”
77. Why did the turtle go on a road trip on the weekend? It wanted to take things slow and steady!
78. How do bees relax on the weekend? They hum their favorite tunes and bee-bop around!
79. What do you call a weekend that’s also a vampire’s favorite day? A Suck-urday!
80. Why did the pizza go to the party on the weekend? It wanted to be a slice of the fun!
81. How do spiders spend their weekends? They spin their way into mischief!
82. What did the guitar say to the weekend? “Let’s jam and have a string-tastic time!”
83. Why did the orange go to the gym on the weekend? It wanted to squeeze in a workout!
84. How do astronauts party on the weekend? They have a blast and moonwalk all night long!
85. What do you call a weekend that’s also a type of bird? A finch-end!
86. Why did the car bring a blanket on the weekend? It wanted to have a cozy drive-in movie night!
87. How do elephants spend their weekends? They have a trunk show and strut their stuff!
88. What did the wind say to the weekend? “Let’s breeze through it together!”
89. Why did the tomato blush on the weekend? It saw the salad dressing’s dressing!
90. How do horses enjoy the weekend? They gallop away from their troubles!
91. What do you call a weekend that’s also a type of fruit? A pine-apple-of-my-eye-end!
92. Why did the coffee file a police report on the weekend? It got mugged!
93. How do birds spend their weekends? They tweet and flock to social gatherings!
94. What did the ocean say to the weekend? “I’m shore glad you’re here!
As we bid adieu to the weekend and gear up for the week ahead, let’s carry the laughter from these weekend jokes in our hearts.
Remember, a good joke can turn any day into a weekend-worthy celebration.
So keep that smile intact and conquer the world, one chuckle at a time!”
