Choo-choo-choose to join us on a laughter-filled journey down the tracks of wordplay!
Get ready for a one-way ticket to pun-derland as we showcase the funniest railroad puns that’ll make you whistle with joy!
125 Rail Road Puns & Jokes List
1. What do you call a train loaded with kittens? A cat-a-pult.
2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
4. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
5. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain!
6. What do you call a train loaded with couches? A sofa express.
7. What do you call a train loaded with rocks? A rock-et train.
8. What do you call a train loaded with brooms? A sweep express.
9. What do you call a train loaded with elephants? A pachyderm express.
10. What do you call a train loaded with doughnuts? A glazed express.
11. What do you call a train loaded with dictionaries? A vocabu-train!
12. What do you call a train loaded with balloons? A blow-up express.
13. What do you call a train loaded with milk? A milk express.
14. What do you call a train loaded with spaghetti? A pasta express.
15. What do you call a train loaded with leaves? A foliage express.
16. What do you call a train loaded with toys? A play express.
17. What do you call a train loaded with letters? A mail express.
18. What do you call a train loaded with bottles? A bottle-o express.
19. What do you call a train loaded with eggs? An egg-spress.
20. What do you call a train loaded with hay? A bale express.
21. What do you call a train loaded with marbles? A glass ball express.
22. What do you call a train loaded with tires? A wheel express.
23. What do you call a train loaded with fish? A fish express.
24. What do you call a train loaded with lumber? A timber express.
25. What do you call a train loaded with shoes? A boot express.
26. What do you call a train loaded with sand? A grain express.
27. What do you call a train loaded with hot dogs? A wiener express.
28. What do you call a train loaded with baseballs? A grand slam express.
29. What do you call a train loaded with diamonds? A gem express.
30. What do you call a train loaded with flowers? A bloom express.
31. What do you call a train loaded with bricks? A block express.
32. What do you call a train loaded with newspapers? A news express.
33. What do you call a train loaded with pianos? A key express.
34. What do you call a train loaded with crayons? A color express.
35. What do you call a train loaded with teddy bears? A teddy express.
36. What do you call a train loaded with donuts? A glazed express.
37. What do you call a train loaded with books? A literature express.
38. What do you call a train loaded with clocks? A time express.
39. What do you call a train loaded with chairs? A seat express.
40. What do you call a train loaded with computers? A byte express.
41. What do you call a train loaded with pillows? A feather express.
42. What do you call a train loaded with cups? A mug express.
43. What do you call a train loaded with tables? A table express.
44. What do you call a train loaded with batteries? An energizer express.
45. What do you call a train loaded with balloons? A blow-up express.
46. What do you call a train loaded with leaves? A foliage express.
47. What do you call a train loaded with leaves? A foliage express.
48. What do you call a train loaded with balloons? A blow-up express.
49. What do you call a train loaded with leaves? A foliage express.
50. What do you call a train loaded with leaves? A foliage express.
51. Why did the conductor always carry a map? To stay on the right track!
52. I wanted to tell a joke about a train, but I’m just locomotive-d out of ideas.
53. Did you hear about the train that got a job as a chef? It was great at delivering “chew-chew” food!
54. What do you call a train that’s full of clowns? A “fun”icular!
55. I thought about becoming a train engineer, but I couldn’t get my career on track.
56. How do trains communicate? They use “rail” phones, of course!
57. Why did the train go to therapy? It had too many “loco” motives.
58. What do you call a happy train conductor? A “rail”road of joy!
59. I tried to tell a joke about a railroad spike, but it didn’t “nail” the punchline.
60. Why do trains make excellent artists? They have great “loco”motion!
61. What do you call a train with a cold? A locomotive!
62. Why did the train blush? It saw the tracks!
63. What do you get when you cross a train with a vampire? A “choo-choo” that loves to “train” on blood!
64. Why did the train become an actor? It loved being on the “big screen”!
65. Why do trains make terrible magicians? They can’t “track” the cards!
66. What do you call a train that can dance? The “loco”motion express!
67. Why did the train break up with its partner? It felt they were on different “tracks” in life.
68. How does a train apologize? It says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go off the rails!”
69. What did the train say to the caboose? “You’re right behind me, as always!”
70. Why do trains always get good grades in school? They have a lot of “training”!
71. How do you make a model train laugh? Toot its “funny”!
72. Why did the train win the race? It had a “loco”motive!
73. What did one train wheel say to the other? “I’m really tired of this endless “treadmill”!”
74. How do you keep a train from getting lost? You give it “rail”way directions!
75. What do you call a train that loves to tell jokes? A “pun”-derground train!
76. Why did the train go to the doctor? It had a case of “rail”mentia!
77. What did the train conductor say to the passenger who lost their ticket? “Don’t worry; we’ll find a “fare” solution!”
78. Why did the train refuse to eat? It had “engine”stion!
79. What do you call a fancy train? The “chew-chew” express!
80. How do you make a train disappear? You “track” its movements!
81. Why did the train break up with the station? It needed some “loco”motive space!
82. What’s a train’s favorite type of music? “Choo-choo”nes!
83. Why did the train go to school? To improve its “training”!
84. How does a train stay in shape? It hits the “rail”way!
85. What did the train say to the engine when it got sick? “I’m feeling a bit “loco” today!”
86. Why was the train so good at math? It had excellent “rail”culation skills!
87. What do you call a train that loves to gamble? The “wager” express!
88. How do you invite a train to a party? You “rail” it in!
89. Why do trains always win arguments? They have “track” records!
90. What did the train conductor say to the passengers before leaving? “All “aboard” the laughter express!”
91. How do trains stay calm? They practice “rail”axation techniques!
92. Why did the train join the gym? It wanted to “train” for a marathon!
93. What do you call a train that can read minds? A “thought” express!
94. Why was the train so good at telling jokes? It had “rail”wit!
95. What’s a train’s favorite dessert? “Choo-choo”late cake!
96. Why did the train become a detective? It loved “tracking” down clues!
97. What do you get when you cross a train with a dog? A “chew-chew” train!
98. Why do trains make great comedians? They have fantastic “loco”motion!
99. What do you call a train that’s always in a hurry? “Express” yourself!
100. Why did the train get a job in customer service? It was great at handling “com-plains”!
101. How do trains make decisions? They “track” their options!
102. What did the train conductor say to the rowdy passengers? “Keep it down, or I’ll have to “rail” you in!”
103. Why do trains always win at hide-and-seek? They’re experts at “rail”ding!
104. How do trains stay organized? They use a “rail”road planner!
105. What’s a train’s favorite sport? “Rail”ball!
106. Why did the train refuse to go to the party? It wasn’t in the “mood”!
107. How do you greet a train in the morning? “Good “morning” express!”
108. Why did the train become a therapist? It was great at “rail”ationship advice!
109. What do you call a train that loves to sing? A “choo-choo”bird!
110. Why did the train get a promotion? It was great at “rail”ying up the team!
111. What did the train conductor say to the passenger who kept telling jokes? “You’re quite “train”ed at humor!”
112. Why was the train always on time? It never “track”ted from its schedule!
113. What’s a train’s favorite game? “Rail”opoly!
114. Why did the train take up painting? It wanted to “express” itself artistically!
115. How do you calm down an angry train? You “loco”mote positive energy!
116. What do you call a train that loves to solve puzzles? The “con”-ductor express!
117. Why did the train attend cooking classes? It wanted to learn how to make “rail”road soup!
118. What did the train say to the passenger who wouldn’t stop talking? “I need some “rail” quiet!”
119. How do trains keep their wheels in shape? They hit the “rail”way!
120. What’s a train’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Engine That Could”!
121. Why did the train get a makeover? It wanted to “track” a new look!
122. How do trains become famous? They go on a “rail”-ity show!
123. What did the train conductor say to the commuter who was always late? “You need to ‘track’ your time better if you want to catch this train!”
124. Why did the train become a yoga instructor? It wanted to teach others how to find their “rail”axation!
125. What do you call a train that’s really good at basketball? A slam-“dunk” express!
And that’s the end of the line, folks!
We hope you enjoyed this rollicking rail ride of puns and wordplay.
Keep the laughter on track, share these Rail road puns with your friends, and remember, there’s always room for more giggles on the comedy caboose.
Until next time, stay punny!
