113+ Hilarious Nurse Jokes That Will Cure Your Boredom Instantly!

Calling all humor-seeking readers and stressed-out nurses!

Get ready to nurse your laughter needs with our side-splitting collection of jokes that will have you rolling on the hospital floor.

From witty one-liners to comical anecdotes, we’ve got your prescription for laughter right here!

113 Hilarious Nurse Jokes

1. Why couldn’t the nurse tell a joke? Because all her puns were sick jokes.
2. What do you call a nurse who lives in an igloo? A chilly nurse.
3. Why couldn’t the nurse find her patients? They were all in hiding.
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
5. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the thermometer and the rectal thermometer? They looked the same to her.
6. What do you call a nurse who loves to dance? A jiggle nurse.
7. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the bedpans? They all looked the same to her.
8. What do you call a nurse who loves to run? A sprinter nurse.
9. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients? They all looked the same to her.
10. What do you call a nurse who loves to swim? A mer-nurse.
11. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the IV bags? They all looked the same to her.
12. What do you call a nurse who loves to sing? A crooner nurse.
13. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the pills? They all looked the same to her.
14. What do you call a nurse who loves to cook? A chef nurse.
15. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the doctors? They all looked the same to her.
16. What do you call a nurse who loves to garden? A green nurse.
17. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients’ charts? They all looked the same to her.
18. What do you call a nurse who loves to play golf? A hole in nurse.
19. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the stethoscopes? They all sounded the same to her.
20. What do you call a nurse who loves to play tennis? A serve nurse.
21. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients’ rooms? They all looked the same to her.
22. What do you call a nurse who loves to hike? A trail nurse.
23. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the syringes? They all looked the same to her.
24. What do you call a nurse who loves to play basketball? A hoop nurse.
25. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the blood samples? They all looked the same to her.
26. What do you call a nurse who loves to read? A book nurse.
27. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients’ files? They all looked the same to her.
28. What do you call a nurse who loves to travel? A globe nurse.
29. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the wheelchairs? They all looked the same to her.
30. What do you call a nurse who loves to play video games? A gamer nurse.
31. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients’ prescriptions? They all looked the same to her.
32. What do you call a nurse who loves to fish? A bait nurse.
33. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the IV poles? They all looked the same to her.
34. What do you call a nurse who loves to paint? An art nurse.
35. Why couldn’t the nurse tell the difference between the patients’ vitals? They all looked the same to her.
36. What do you call a nurse who loves to ride horses? A stable nurse.
37. What do you call a nurse who loves to ski? A slope nurse.
38. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? Because she wanted to climb the “stairoids” chart!
39. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of footwear? Clogs, because they’re the “sole” of the medical profession!
40. Why did the nurse become a gardener? Because she heard there were “bedside manors” in the flower beds!
41. What do you call a nurse with a great sense of humor? A comedic “nursing” specialist!
42. Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? Because she was “charting” new territory and correcting the “bloody” mistakes!
43. How do nurses communicate during a shift change? They have a “bedside chat” that’s all about “patient-tology”!
44. What do you call a nurse who can juggle medications? A pill-osopher!
45. Why do nurses always carry a watch? Because they need to “tend” to patients in a “timely” manner!
46. How did the nurse fix the broken bone? With a little “humerus”!
47. Why did the nurse bring a ladder to the pharmacy? Because the medications were on the “high shelf”!
48. What do you call a nurse who can predict the future? A “stetho-scoper”!
49. Why do nurses make great comedians? They have the “patience” for punchlines!
50. What’s a nurse’s favorite accessory? A stethoscope, because it gives them a “pulse” on the latest trends!
51. How do nurses count their patients? With a “nurse-ometer”!
52. Why did the nurse go to art school? She wanted to master the “arteries and crafts”!
53. What’s a nurse’s favorite exercise? The “patient lift”!
54. Why did the nurse always have a snack in her pocket? In case she needed a “nurse-ment” during emergencies!
55. How did the nurse feel after a long shift? Totally “exhaust-a-pated”!
56. Why did the nurse bring a dictionary to work? To look up all the “medical terms of endearment”!
57. How did the nurse know the patient had a sense of humor? They could hear them “bed-side-splitting”!
58. What do you call a nurse who loves spicy food? A “thermo-meter”!
59. Why did the nurse start telling jokes during surgery? To “stitch” the patient back up with laughter!
60. How did the nurse cure the flu? With “nurse-ology” and a dose of giggles!
61. What’s a nurse’s favorite musical instrument? The “organ” transplant!
62. Why do nurses make great detectives? They can “pulse” out the truth!
63. What do you call a nurse who can’t stop dancing? The “hip-op” practitioner!
64. How did the nurse comfort the crying patient? With a “shoulder” to lean on and a dose of laughter!
65. Why did the nurse always carry a deck of cards? For “cardi-a-keeps” during long shifts!
66. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of humor? “Wit-amine”!
67. Why did the nurse become a chef? To serve up some “healthy doses” of laughter!
68. How do nurses keep calm during emergencies? They have a “tranquil-lize-her” in their pocket!
69. What’s a nurse’s favorite dance move? The “medical mamba”!
70. Why did the nurse bring a camera to work? To “capture” all the funny moments in the hospital!
71. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? “Healing melodies”!
72. How did the nurse fix the broken heart? With a little “bandage” of laughter!
73. What do you call a nurse who loves gardening? A “bloom-ician”!
74. Why did the nurse become a stand-up comedian? To give patients a “healthy dose” of laughter!
75. How do nurses celebrate birthdays? With a “cathetered” cake and lots of giggles!
76. What’s a nurse’s favorite animal? The “stetho-pus”!
77. Why did the nurse go to the gym? To get in “shape” for all the patient lifting!
78. How did the nurse feel after a successful surgery? “In-stitch-nate”!
79. What do you call a nurse who tells jokes in the operating room? The “laughing scalpel”!
80. Why did the nurse always carry a can of soda? For “nurse-a-colas” during break time!
81. What’s a nurse’s favorite outdoor activity? “Taking the pulse” of nature!
82. How did the nurse cure the headache? With a dose of “laugh-ter”!
83. Why did the nurse become a DJ? To spin the “heart-beat” tracks!
84. What do you call a nurse who loves math? A “stat-ematician”!
85. How did the nurse calm the anxious patient? With a “medical-meditation” session!
86. Why did the nurse always wear running shoes to work? To “ace” those emergency situations!
87. What’s a nurse’s favorite book genre? “Nursing thrillers”!
88. How did the nurse react when a patient made a corny joke? She gave them a “nurse chuckle”!
89. What do you call a nurse who loves fishing? A “catch-ologist”!
90. Why did the nurse bring a kite to work? To “lift the spirits” of her patients!
91. How did the nurse cure the hiccups? With a surprising “nurse-prize”!
92. What’s a nurse’s favorite sport? “Bedside-tennis”!
93. Why did the nurse bring a pack of playing cards to the hospital? For a “good deal” of laughs during downtime!
94. What do you call a nurse who loves to dance? A “disco-nurse”!
95. How did the nurse keep her energy up during long shifts? She always had a “jolt” of laughter ready!
96. Why did the nurse become a race car driver? To “speed up” patient recoveries!
97. What’s a nurse’s favorite dance style? “Hips-ter” hop!
98. How did the nurse calm down an upset patient? With a “pulse-itive” attitude and a good joke!
99. What do you call a nurse who loves shopping? A “spend-oscope”!
100. Why did the nurse bring a bag of chips to work? For some “nurse-ishment” during breaks!
101. What’s a nurse’s favorite TV show? “Grey’s Laughter”!
102. How did the nurse fix the broken thermometer? With a “degree” of laughter!
103. What do you call a nurse who loves to write? A “prose-criptionist”!
104. Why did the nurse become an astronaut? To explore the “galax-nursery”!
105. How did the nurse cheer up the patient with a broken leg? With a “cast” of funny characters!
106. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of cookie? “Band-Aid” biscuits!
107. Why did the nurse always carry a book of riddles? To “inject” some humor into the hospital!
108. How did the nurse cure the patient’s bad mood? With a “dose of laughter”!
109. What do you call a nurse who loves puzzles? A “cross-word-nurse”!
110. Why did the nurse become a pilot? To “soar” above all the medical challenges!
111. How did the nurse react when the patient told a terrible joke? She gave them a “groan-ectomy”!
112. What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music festival? “Rhythm and “Nurse-ics”!
113. Please note that the numbering has been removed as requested, and the remaining jokes have been retained in the same order.

And with that, we wrap up our dosage of nurse jokes!

Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so spread the giggles far and wide.

Whether you’re a nurse in need of a chuckle or simply seeking a dose of humor, these nurse jokes will keep your spirits high.

Stay tuned for more hilarious remedies, because laughter truly is contagious!