Ever wondered what happens when mermaids try their hand at comedy?
Prepare to have a whale of a time as we unveil the funniest underwater humor you’ve ever heard!
From fishy puns to sea-riffic one-liners, these mermaid jokes will make you laugh so hard, you’ll be swimming with glee!
113 Hilarious Mermaid Jokes & Puns
1. Why couldn’t the mermaid sing on key? Because she was a little shellfish.
2. What do mermaids use to wash their hair? Sea shampoo!
3. Why couldn’t the mermaid play cards? She always drew fishy hands.
4. What do mermaids use to wash their tails? Tide!
5. Why couldn’t the mermaid play baseball? She couldn’t catch!
6. What do mermaids eat on pizza? Anchovies!
7. Why couldn’t the mermaid play the piano? She had crabs on her fingers!
8. What do mermaids say before they tell a joke? Fintastic!
9. Why couldn’t the mermaid learn to drive? She kept stalling the engine.
10. What do mermaids say before they eat? Let’s shell-abrate!
11. Why couldn’t the mermaid play basketball? She couldn’t dribble!
12. What do mermaids say before they swim the backstroke? On your marx, get set, go!
13. Why couldn’t the mermaid learn to knit? She kept dropping stitches!
14. What do mermaids say before they dive? Here goes finthing!
15. Why couldn’t the mermaid learn to tap dance? She kept getting her fins tangled!
16. What do mermaids say before they eat sushi? I’m so tuna-ted!
17. Why couldn’t the mermaid play hopscotch? She kept getting her fin stuck!
18. What do mermaids say before they go swimming? Just fin me in!
19. Why couldn’t the mermaid learn karate? She couldn’t sea her opponents!
20. What do mermaids say before they go on vacation? I’m so shell-cited!
21. Why couldn’t the mermaid play hockey? She couldn’t control the puck!
22. What do mermaids say before they go to bed? Goodnight, shore you later!
23. Why couldn’t the mermaid play football? She couldn’t catch the sea ball!
24. What do mermaids say before they go shopping? Let’s go shell-ebrate!
25. Why couldn’t the mermaid play soccer? She couldn’t control the beach ball!
26. What do mermaids say before they go to the beach? Let’s sun it up!
27. Why couldn’t the mermaid play tennis? She couldn’t catch the beach ball!
28. What do mermaids say before they go to the movies? Let’s fin some flicks!
29. Why couldn’t the mermaid play golf? She couldn’t control the club!
30. What do mermaids say before they go on a date? Wish me luck!
31. Why couldn’t the mermaid play volleyball? She couldn’t spike the beach ball!
32. What do mermaids say before they go to a party? I’m so beached to go!
33. Why couldn’t the mermaid play catch? She couldn’t catch the beach ball!
34. What do mermaids say before they go swimming? Dive right in!
35. Why couldn’t the mermaid play dodgeball? She couldn’t dodge the beach ball!
36. What do mermaids say before they go snorkeling? Here I go!
37. Why couldn’t the mermaid play croquet? She couldn’t control the mallet!
38. What do mermaids say before they go fishing? Here goes finthing!
39. Why did the mermaid bring a sea-snake to the party? Because she wanted to add a little “hiss-terical” charm!
40. How did the mermaid know she had an amazing singing voice? All the fish gave her a “scale” of approval!
41. What do you call a mermaid’s favorite breakfast? Shrimp-tastic cereal!
42. Why are mermaids excellent secret-keepers? Because they’re great at “shore-etelling”!
43. How do mermaids keep their skin so flawless? They use “aqua-glow” skincare products!
44. What did the mermaid say when she met the handsome sailor? “You’re quite the “catch” of the day!”
45. Why did the mermaid get kicked out of the seafood restaurant? She kept singing the “crab-ulous” menu!
46. What’s a mermaid’s favorite instrument to play? The “coral-ina”!
47. Why did the mermaid always carry a mirror with her? So she could see if she had “tide-y” hair!
48. How do mermaids clean their underwater homes? With a “bubbly” vacuum cleaner!
49. What’s a mermaid’s favorite game to play? “Fin-d the treasure”!
50. Why did the mermaid become a mathematician? She loved “diving” into complex problems!
51. What do mermaids use to text each other underwater? “Shell” phones, of course!
52. Why did the mermaid start her own jewelry business? She wanted to sell “pearl-icious” accessories!
53. How do mermaids ensure they stay trendy with their fashion choices? They follow the latest “current” trends!
54. What do you get when you cross a mermaid with a parrot? A bird that can say, “Squawk-erific” underwater jokes!
55. Why did the mermaid turn down the marriage proposal from the sea monster? He was too “kraken” her up!
56. What did the mermaid say when she bumped into the sea witch? “I’m really sorry, but I didn’t “sea” you there!”
57. Why are mermaids such good singers? Because they’ve got “fin-tastic” vocal cords!
58. What’s a mermaid’s favorite type of math? “Algae-bra”!
59. How do mermaids make decisions? They flip a “sea-shell” to choose!
60. Why did the mermaid become an artist? She loved to “draw” attention!
61. What did the mermaid say when her friend got a new seaweed hairstyle? “Kelp me, I need one too!”
62. Why do mermaids always know the latest gossip? Because they’re experts at “fishy-tales”!
63. How did the mermaid know she had a great sense of humor? All her jokes made the ocean “wave” with laughter!
64. What do mermaids do at the end of a long day? They “sea-lebrate” with a good book!
65. Why did the mermaid go to school? She wanted to learn “fin”-omenal new things!
66. What do you call a mermaid who loves to bake? A “mer-muffin”!
67. Why did the mermaid bring her own seaweed to the sushi restaurant? She wanted to make sure she had the “right” roll!
68. What’s a mermaid’s favorite dance style? The “krill-hop”!
69. How do mermaids organize their underwater parties? With a “sea-riously” good planner!
70. Why did the mermaid start her own comedy club under the sea? To give everyone a good “belly-fin” laugh!
71. What do you call a mermaid who’s always late? “Lobster-“clocked”!
72. Why are mermaids terrible poker players? They’re always showing their “fin-tells”!
73. What did the mermaid say to the mischievous dolphin? “You’re quite the “wave”-maker!”
74. How do mermaids communicate with humans? They use “dolphin-ately” impressive sign language!
75. Why did the mermaid love to swim with dolphins? They could “tuna” into each other’s thoughts!
76. What’s a mermaid’s favorite romantic movie? “The Little Mermance”!
77. Why did the mermaid start a rock band? She loved to play “guitarfish”!
78. How do mermaids stay fit and healthy? They practice “sea-kwondo”!
79. What do mermaids use to style their hair? A “squid-brush”!
80. Why did the mermaid become a detective? She loved solving “clam-inal” mysteries!
81. How did the mermaid become so good at baking cookies? She used “ocean”-al ingredients!
82. What’s a mermaid’s favorite type of literature? “Tale” fiction!
83. Why did the mermaid take up underwater photography? She wanted to “capture” beautiful moments!
84. What did the mermaid say when she found the perfect seashell? “Shell yeah, this is awesome!”
85. How do mermaids send mail to each other? Through the “post-dolphin” service!
86. Why did the mermaid start a seaweed farm? She wanted to grow her own “kelp”-ful of snacks!
87. What’s a mermaid’s favorite party game? “Musical chairs-tail“!
88. Why did the mermaid become a lifeguard? She loved to “sea”-cure everyone’s safety!
89. What did the mermaid say to the fish that was being too nosy? “Mind your own “fin”-ness!”
90. How do mermaids organize their underwater libraries? With “shellf”-help books!
91. Why did the mermaid start her own comedy show? She wanted to make everyone “sea”-riously happy!
92. What do mermaids do when they’re feeling down? They have a good “whale”!
93. Why did the mermaid start a gardening club? She loved to “sea”-d beautiful flowers!
94. How do mermaids enjoy their favorite music? With “fin”-tastic earphones!
95. What do mermaids say when they want to go faster while swimming? “Squid” it up!
96. Why are mermaids always ready to party? They know how to “fish-tival”!
97. What’s a mermaid’s favorite underwater sport? “Synchronized swimming-fins”!
98. Why did the mermaid start her own beauty salon? She wanted to offer the best “scales” of service!
99. How do mermaids celebrate their birthdays? With a “shell”-abration, of course!
100. What do you call a mermaid with a great sense of humor? A “mirth-maid”!
101. Why did the mermaid start a cooking show? She loved to share “fish-ionable” recipes!
102. What’s a mermaid’s favorite game on the beach? “Sand-castle smash“!
103. How do mermaids make sure they’re always on time? They use a “tide watch”!
104. Why did the mermaid become a marine biologist? She wanted to learn more about “fin”-credible sea creatures!
105. What’s a mermaid’s favorite app? “Insta-fish”!
106. Why did the mermaid join the choir? She loved to “harmonize” with the fish!
107. How do mermaids know it’s time to go to bed? They get a “yawn-tide”!
108. What do you get when you cross a mermaid with a detective? An investigator who can “sea”-right through lies!
109. Why did the mermaid start her own fashion line? She wanted to make a big “splash” in the industry!
110. What’s a mermaid’s favorite marine mammal? A “whale” of a friend!
111. Why did the mermaid become a flight attendant? She loved to “sea”-rve others!
112. How do mermaids choose what movie to watch underwater? They check the “reef-views”!
113. What did the mermaid say when she met a hilarious clownfish? “You crack me up, you “fin”-ny fish!”
Before we bid adieu and swim back to the surface, remember to keep these mermaid jokes in your treasure chest of humor.
Share them at parties or just to make a splash among friends.
Happy chuckling, and may your days be as cheerful as a mermaid with a laughter spell!
