Accio laughter!
If you thought the Wizarding World was all serious business, think again!
We’ve brewed up a magical concoction of Harry Potter jokes that will leave you laughing like a tickled Mandrake.
Grab your wands and get ready for a spellbinding ride of wizarding wit and whimsy!
100 Harry Potter Jokes & Puns List
1. Why couldn’t Harry Potter find his broomstick? Because it was hiding!
2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
3. Why couldn’t Harry’s broom fly any higher? Because it was a ‘broom-ceiling’!
4. Why couldn’t Harry’s owl deliver the letter? Because it didn’t have the owl-dress!
5. What do you call a magical lie? A fib-witchy!
6. Why couldn’t Harry’s owl fly any higher? Because it would be ‘owl-titude’ sickness!
7. What do you call a magical sneeze? Abracoughdra!
8. Why couldn’t Harry’s owl fly any higher? Because it was at its ‘owl-titude’ limit!
9. What do you call a magical burp? A wiz-burp!
10. What do you call a magical yawn? A wiz-yawn!
11. What do you call a magical cough drop? A wiz-cough drop!
12. What do you call a magical hiccup? A wiz-cup!
13. What do you call a magical sneaker? A wiz-sneaker!
14. What do you call a magical shoe? A wiz-shoe!
15. What do you call a magical sock? A wiz-sock!
16. What do you call a magical belt? A wiz-belt!
17. What do you call a magical hat? A wiz-hat!
18. What do you call a magical glove? A wiz-glove!
19. What do you call a magical scarf? A wiz-scarf!
20. What do you call a magical jacket? A wiz-jacket!
21. What do you call a magical shirt? A wiz-shirt!
22. What do you call a magical pair of pants? A wiz-pants!
23. What do you call a magical pair of shorts? A wiz-shorts!
24. What do you call a magical pair of underwear? A wiz-drawers!
25. What do you call a magical pair of socks? A wiz-socks!
26. Why did the Dementor break up with its partner? It said they were just too “depressing” together.
27. How does a Hogwarts student get good grades? They “spell” it out, of course!
28. What’s Professor Snape’s favorite type of music? Potion ballads, of course!
29. Why did Harry Potter go to the dentist? He needed to get rid of his “tooth-oot” pain!
30. What’s a wizard’s favorite kind of exercise? Hexercise!
31. Why did the Gryffindor wear a helmet in Potions class? To protect against “brew-tal” accidents!
32. Why do Hogwarts ghosts never lie? Because they’re “transparent” about everything!
33. What do you call a group of witches and wizards who love to dance? The “Charmed Circle!”
34. Why did Ron Weasley take up painting? He heard it was a “spellbinding” hobby!
35. What’s Hermione’s favorite type of pasta? “Spell-ghetti”!
36. How do you make a cauldron laugh? You give it a “ticklish” potion!
37. Why did the Boggart become a comedian? It loved “scaring” people with laughter!
38. What did the Sorting Hat say to Harry? “You’re a Gryffin-delight!”
39. Why did the Quaffle go to therapy? It couldn’t handle all the “chasing” it went through!
40. Why do wizards always have good hair days? They use “spell-hold” gel!
41. What’s Hagrid’s favorite dessert? “Haggled Dazzle” ice cream!
42. Why did the Hippogriff become a teacher? It had a knack for “gryffin-great” lessons!
43. What do you call a magical cat with a tough attitude? A “purr-snicket”!
44. Why was the potion never ready on time? The ingredients kept “stirring” up trouble!
45. What did the Dementor say to the comedian? “Your jokes are just too soul-less!”
46. Why did the wizard refuse to play cards? He was afraid of getting a “wand-slapped” hand!
47. What’s Sirius Black’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a Dementor? Because you take my breath away!”
48. What did the Hogwarts student say to the procrastinating ghost? “You’re just ‘spook’-ing time away!”
49. Why did the Broomstick start a band? It wanted to sweep the music world!
50. What do you call a Hogwarts house that loves to bake? Huffle-pie!
51. Why did the werewolf join the comedy club? To “howl-arious” applause!
52. Why did the Death Eater join a music group? He heard they were all about “Dark Notes”!
53. What do you get when you cross a dragon and a snowman? Frostbite!
54. Why did the wizard go to the gym? He wanted to improve his “spell-endurance”!
55. What’s Luna Lovegood’s favorite type of joke? “Luna-tick” humor!
56. Why did the Muggle take up magic lessons? He wanted to add some “wizardry” to his life!
57. What’s Moaning Myrtle’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
58. Why did the Hufflepuff bring a ladder to the library? They heard the books were “overhead-able”!
59. What’s Voldemort’s favorite drink? Horcruxberry juice!
60. Why did the wizard become a gardener? He had a “wand” for nurturing plants!
61. What’s a Quidditch player’s favorite way to travel? Broomstick lanes!
62. Why did the Boggart win the talent show? It could transform into anything the judges wanted!
63. What do you call a dragon with bad breath? A “fire-exhale-dragon”!
64. Why did the poltergeist fail at school? He kept causing “distur-banshee”!
65. Why do wizards always carry an umbrella? For “spell”-ter protection from the elements!
66. What’s Voldemort’s favorite movie genre? “Horror-crux” films!
67. Why did the Hogwarts student become a chef? They wanted to cook up some “spell-binding” dishes!
68. What do you call a sneaky wizard? A “sly-therin”!
69. Why was the broomstick so unpopular at parties? It kept “sweeping” people off their feet!
70. What’s a Dementor’s favorite ice cream flavor? “Soul-ful Swirl”!
71. Why did the owl join the choir? It had a hoot-tastic voice!
72. What’s Snape’s favorite fruit? “Sly-therins”!
73. Why do wizards make great detectives? They can “spell” out the clues!
74. What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
75. Why did the Sorting Hat become a fashion designer? It was tired of sorting, and it had an eye for style!
76. What’s the most musical creature in the Wizarding World? A “tune-tor”!
77. Why did the wizard refuse to fly on a broomstick? He had a fear of “high-witch-tension”!
78. What did the wand say to the wizard? “You’ve got me under your ‘spell’!”
79. Why did the house-elf become a stand-up comedian? It loved making “masterful” punchlines!
80. What do you call a magical notebook? A “spellbook”!
81. Why did the basilisk start a band? It wanted to “hiss” some epic tunes!
82. What’s a Quidditch player’s favorite snack? Broom-sticks!
83. Why did the wizard’s pet owl get a promotion? It was an “excellent” messenger!
84. What’s a werewolf’s favorite bedtime story? “Little Red Riding Wolf”!
85. Why did the potion start a podcast? It wanted to share its “brew-tiful” knowledge!
86. What’s the most mischievous type of broomstick? A “whisk-ardly” one!
87. Why did the Muggle cross the road? To see if they could make it to Platform 9 3/4!
88. What’s a wizard’s favorite dessert? “Spellicious” cake!
89. Why did the Hogwarts student become an artist? They loved drawing “magical” masterpieces!
90. What do you call a magical creature with a big ego? A “bragical” beast!
91. Why did the Death Eater become a gardener? They loved to “plant” seeds of fear!
92. What’s a wizard’s favorite part of a joke? The “wand”-up!
93. Why was the Quaffle terrible at cooking? It kept “dropping” everything!
94. What’s a Hufflepuff’s favorite type of dance? The “Badger Boogie”!
95. Why did the Boggart fail as a comedian? It couldn’t figure out which form was the most “ha-ha-ha-hilarious”!
96. What do you get when you cross a house-elf and a broomstick? A “sweepy” helper!
97. Why did the wizard become a detective? He loved solving “enchanting” mysteries!
98. What’s Voldemort’s favorite board game? “Dark Arts and Ladders”!
99. Why did the poltergeist join the circus? It loved “spiriting” the audience away with laughter!
100. What’s a Hippogriff’s favorite hobby? “Feather chasing”!
Now that you’ve had your share of magical mirth, remember to keep these Harry Potter jokes handy for your next trip to Hogwarts or family gathering.
Laughter is the best potion, after all! Until next time, apparate your worries away with more wizarding giggles and mischief!
