Get ready to laugh your tail off as we dive into a collection of side-splitting, rib-tickling, and knee-slapping funny ass jokes!
Brace yourself for an overdose of laughter that will have your cheeks hurting and your friends begging for more.
Prepare for uncontrollable fits of giggles!
43+ Hilarious Funny Ass Jokes
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
- What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
- What do you call a dinosaur that’s never late? A prontosaurus!
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hockey? He didn’t have the proper ice capabilities.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- What do you call a fake stone in the desert? A sham-rock.
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
- Why couldn’t the bike race? It was two-tired!
- Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts.
- What do you call a dinosaur that weighs the same as a car? A ton-o-saurus.
- What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
- I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
- I told my wife she should do lunges to stay fit. That would be a big step forward.
- I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- How do you organize a space party? You “planet”!
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
- I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!
- What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
- I’m trying to lose weight, but it’s an uphill battle. My snacks keep rolling back down!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!
As we bid farewell, remember to keep these funny ass jokes up your sleeve for those dull moments when you need an instant mood-lifter.
Share the laughter, spread the joy, and let your funny bone guide you through life. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and we’ve just given you a prescription for endless chuckles.
Stay hilariously happy!
