Feeling a pinch of boredom?
Fear not, as we embark on a claw-some journey filled with crab-tivating humor!
These shell-arious crab jokes are sure to leave you in stitches and begging for more.
So, grab your sunscreen and get ready to crab-walk into a sea of laughter!
120 Hilarious Crab Jokes & Puns
1. Why couldn’t the crab play cards? Because he was always one shell behind.
2. Why couldn’t the crab make up his mind? He was in two shells.
3. Why couldn’t the crab sing? He was a little hoarse.
4. Why couldn’t the crab make bread? Because he had no yeast.
5. What do you call a crab that’s also a magician? A crabapple.
6. Why couldn’t the crab find his keys? Because he lost his grip.
7. Why couldn’t the crab get a loan? Because he had bad crabdit.
8. Why couldn’t the crab play basketball? Because he kept fumbling the ball.
9. Why couldn’t the crab drive a car? Because he had no license.
10. Why couldn’t the crab go to the party? Because he wasn’t in-vited.
11. Why couldn’t the crab get a job? Because he was too shellfish.
12. Why couldn’t the crab tell a joke? Because he wasn’t very punny.
13. Why couldn’t the crab play the piano? Because he had crabbie fingers.
14. Why couldn’t the crab go fishing? Because he had no bait or tackle.
15. Why couldn’t the crab do long division? Because he got stumped on the remainders.
16. Why couldn’t the crab play the guitar? Because he had no fingers.
17. Why couldn’t the crab play hopscotch? Because he kept falling on his side.
18. Why couldn’t the crab ride a bike? Because he had no legs.
19. Why couldn’t the crab go to the beach? Because he was a hermit crab.
20. Why couldn’t the crab go camping? Because he was too crabby.
21. Why couldn’t the crab go swimming? Because he couldn’t float.
22. Why couldn’t the crab play hockey? Because he had no stick.
23. Why couldn’t the crab go bowling? Because he had no thumb.
24. Why couldn’t the crab play soccer? Because he had no feet.
25. Why couldn’t the crab go skiing? Because he had no poles.
26. Why couldn’t the crab go to the prom? Because no one asked him.
27. Why couldn’t the crab go to the movies? Because he couldn’t afford the tickets.
28. Why couldn’t the crab go on vacation? Because he couldn’t afford to travel.
29. Why couldn’t the crab go to the zoo? Because he was already an animal.
30. Why couldn’t the crab go to the circus? Because he was afraid of clowns.
31. Why couldn’t the crab go to the park? Because he had nowhere to pinch.
32. Why couldn’t the crab go to the mall? Because he had no money to shop.
33. Why couldn’t the crab go to school? Because he was homeschooled.
34. Why couldn’t the crab go to the bar? Because he was underage.
35. Why couldn’t the crab go to the gym? Because he was already in shape.
36. Why couldn’t the crab go to the library? Because he couldn’t read books.
37. Why couldn’t the crab go to the grocery store? Because he had no shopping list.
38. Why couldn’t the crab go to the doctor? Because he was already feeling crabby.
39. Why couldn’t the crab go to work? Because he was already retired.
40. Why couldn’t the crab go to church? Because he didn’t believe in higher beings.
41. Why couldn’t the crab go to the hair salon? Because crabs don’t have hair.
42. Why couldn’t the crab go to the spa? Because he was already relaxed.
43. Why couldn’t the crab go to the restaurant? Because he couldn’t afford to eat out.
44. Why couldn’t the crab go to the wedding? Because he wasn’t invited.
45. Why couldn’t the crab go to the funeral? Because he didn’t know the deceased.
46. Why did the crab never share its lunch? It was shellfish!
47. What did the crab say to the ocean waves? “Stop being so shell-fishy!”
48. How do crabs make a good impression? They show off their crabtivating claws!
49. Why was the crab always invited to parties? It was the ultimate dance-crustacean!
50. What’s a crab’s favorite instrument? The clarinet! It loves to make shell-odic music!
51. Why did the crab turn red? It saw the lobster blush!
52. What do you call a crab who plays the lottery? A crabaret!
53. How did the crab win the marathon? It ran sideways and crossed the finish line crab-zing first!
54. What did the crab do on vacation? It went to the beach to get a tan-gerine!
55. What do you call a crab who can’t stop singing? A crooner-crab!
56. How do crabs celebrate their birthdays? They have a shell-abration, of course!
57. Why don’t crabs give to charity? They’re afraid of being clawed off as donors!
58. What’s a crab’s favorite movie genre? Shellarious comedies, of course!
59. Why did the crab join a gym? To work on its mussel strength!
60. How did the crab become a successful comedian? It cracked up the audience with its shell-arious jokes!
61. Why did the crab get a job as a chef? It was an expert at using its pinch of flavor!
62. What’s a crab’s favorite type of sandwich? Crab-leving anything with a lot of mayo!
63. How do crabs send messages? By using their cell-claws!
64. What’s a crab’s favorite hobby? Playing “claw-sic” board games!
65. Why did the crab refuse to share secrets? It was afraid of being a snitch-shell!
66. What did the crab major in at college? Clawculus!
67. How do crabs keep their money safe? In a sea-cret bank account!
68. What do you call a crab who is a computer whiz? A “click”-ensteiner!
69. How do crabs resolve arguments? They “sea” both sides of the story!
70. What did the crab say to the annoying seagull? “Go take a long walk off a short pier!”
71. What did one crab say to another crab when they met after a long time? “Long time no sea!”
72. How do crabs tell time? They check their claw-ck!
73. What’s a crab’s favorite type of candy? Krab-apples!
74. Why did the crab join a band? It wanted to play the “claw-sic” guitar!
75. How do crabs throw a surprise party? They send out invitations on the shell-ular network!
76. What did the crab say to the seashell? “I shell always cherish our friendship!”
77. Why do crabs make terrible stand-up comedians? They always get “shell-shocked” on stage!
78. How do crabs communicate with each other underwater? Through crab-ernet telepathy!
79. What do you call a crab who’s a detective? An in-crab-vestigator!
80. Why did the crab become a referee? It loved to call the “claw-ficial” shots!
81. What did the crab say to its date? “You’re quite a catch!”
82. How do crabs like to travel? By “crab-er-cab!”
83. What did the crab wish for when it saw a shooting star? A shell-arious career!
84. Why was the crab so good at poker? It had a knack for reading shell expressions!
85. What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid!
86. How do crabs organize their library? They use the “claw-sification” system!
87. What did the crab write on its to-do list? “Shell-ebrate life every day!”
88. Why did the crab blush so much? It saw the ocean “flirt” with the moon!
89. How do crabs take a group selfie? They use a “claw-d”!
90. What did the crab say to the chef? “I’m having a ‘crab-tastic’ time in this seafood dish!”
91. Why don’t crabs like to share dessert? They’re afraid of being called “crab-servative”!
92. How do crabs solve mysteries? They become “shell-lock Holmes”!
93. What did the crab say when it won an award? “I shell-terly accept this honor!”
94. What’s a crab’s favorite type of humor? Shell-arious puns, of course!
95. Why did the crab get into an argument with the lobster? It was tired of all the “claw-mosion”!
96. How do crabs study for exams? They hit the books with their clawful focus!
97. What did the crab say when it won a marathon? “I’m shell-abrating this crab-tastic victory!”
98. Why don’t crabs ever get bored? They’re always “claw-verly” entertained!
99. How do crabs avoid getting lost in the ocean? They use a “shell-map”!
100. What do you call a crab with a funny bone? A laugh-crab!
101. How did the crab land a job in showbiz? It had great “shell-entertainment” skills!
102. What’s a crab’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-claw-ster!
103. Why did the crab get promoted at work? It had excellent “claw-some” skills!
104. How do crabs send love letters? With a “claw-sive” stamp of approval!
105. What do crabs do on rainy days? They have a “shell-arious” movie marathon!
106. How did the crab become a famous musician? It had a “claw-some” voice!
107. What do you call a crab with an attitude? Crabby-dabra!
108. How do crabs celebrate Halloween? They have a “shell-ebration” with spooky crab-o-lanterns!
109. Why did the crab open a bakery? It loved to make “crab-tastic” pastries!
110. What do you get when you cross a crab with a computer? A hard-shell drive!
111. How do crabs stay in shape? They do “shell-ates” exercises!
112. What did the crab say to its annoying neighbor? “Don’t be such a shell-fish!”
113. Why don’t crabs ever get into a fight? They’re too “claw-ver” to argue!
114. How do crabs stay cool in the summer? They take a dip in the “sea-zer”!
115. What do crabs do at a rock concert? They “claw-p” and dance all night!
116. Why was the crab always so calm and collected? It had great “shell-f-control”!
117. How do crabs apologize? They say, “I’m really claw-ry about that!”
118. What did the crab say to the shrimp at the party? “You’re my favorite little ‘crust’-tacean!”
119. How do crabs stay organized? They keep a “claw-endar”!
120. What do crabs do when they win an argument? They give a “claw-some” victory dance!
As we bid farewell to the crab jokes, we hope they’ve left a lasting smile on your face.
Remember, when life gets a bit fishy, come back and share a laugh with our crab-tastic collection!
Until then, keep those claws sharp and your sense of humor even sharper!
