Looking for a dose of laughter to lighten the pandemic blues?
We’ve gathered the funniest COVID jokes to tickle your funny bone!
Don’t worry, these COVID jokes are totally germ-free, but be prepared to catch contagious laughter!
75 Hilarious COVID Jokes & Puns
1. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a pandemic!
2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
4. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain!
5. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
6. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain!
7. Why couldn’t the bike stand up? It was two-tired!
8. What do you call a pile of puppies? A d’awww!
9. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
10. What do you call a pile of elephants? A graveyard!
11. Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby? He was a little horse!
12. What do you call a pile of bunnies? A fluffle!
13. Why couldn’t the kid see the pirate movie? It was rated Arrrr!
14. Why did the scarecrow win the “Social Distancing Award”? Because he was outstanding in his field!
15. I told my friend a COVID joke, but it went viral. Now I’m the “spread” of the party!
16. Why did the banana refuse to wear a mask? Because he found it a-peeling!
17. How did the germ get a promotion? It went viral in the office!
18. Why did the tomato turn red during the pandemic? It saw the salad dressing!
19. My friend’s mask-making business took off during COVID. I guess you could say they really covered their bases!
20. What did the sushi say to the face mask? “Wasabi, my friend?”
21. Why did the math book look sad during the lockdown? Because it had too many problems!
22. Did you hear about the restaurant that only serves coronas? It’s called “The Outbreak Inn”!
23. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a “byte” of a fever!
24. Did you hear about the restaurant that only serves soup? They call it “The Soup-er Spreader”!
25. What did the quarantine say to the sunshine? “Don’t you dare shine on my parade!”
26. Why do masks break up so often? They can’t handle the pressure of commitment!
27. Did you hear about the shampoo that refuses to share? It’s called “Lather, Rinse, Repeat after Me”!
28. Why was the baker so stressed during the pandemic? He kneaded a break!
29. What did the grape say to the hand sanitizer? “Don’t touch me, I’m fermented!”
30. How did the lawyer handle social distancing? He made sure to keep a “brief” distance from everyone!
31. Why did the vegetable refuse to leave the house during COVID? It was “peeling” a bit under the weather!
32. What did the ocean say to the beach during lockdown? “I’ll sea you later!”
33. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom, of course!
34. Why did the musician start singing about COVID? It was his “virus” hit!
35. What do you call someone who wears their mask incorrectly? An “airhead”!
36. Why did the skeleton refuse to go out during the pandemic? He didn’t have the guts!
37. Why was the calendar always so excited? It had a date to look forward to!
38. What did the tie say to the face mask? “You’re really choking the life out of me!”
39. Why did the baker’s business thrive during COVID? Because he “kneaded” the dough!
40. What did one mask say to the other? “You’re my main squeeze, but keep your distance!”
41. How did the hamburger feel during the pandemic? It was feeling a bit “grounded”!
42. Why did the tomato refuse to make salsa? It didn’t want to be in a “hot spot”!
43. What’s a germ’s favorite type of music? Conta-groove-al!
44. Why was the broom always so nervous during COVID? It was sweeping the nation!
45. What did the sheep say to the shepherd? “Can ewe herd me from a distance?”
46. Why did the peanut butter go viral? Because it spread so easily!
47. How did the skeleton find a way to exercise during lockdown? He went for a “bone-jog”!
48. What did the scarecrow say when he won an award? “I’m outstanding in my PPE!”
49. What did the traffic light say to the pedestrian during quarantine? “Don’t you dare cross me!”
50. Why was the basketball team so bad at social distancing? They couldn’t stop dribbling!
51. What did the stamp say to the envelope during lockdown? “I’ve got you covered!”
52. How did the snowflake handle the pandemic? It stayed “cool” and avoided the second wave!
53. How did the astronaut avoid catching the virus? They maintained a “space-ial” distance!
54. What did the umbrella say to the face mask? “We’ve got you covered from head to toe!”
55. How did the chef handle social distancing? By keeping six feet “apart-chef”!
56. What did the germ say to the hand sanitizer? “I can’t believe you’re rubbing me the wrong way!”
57. Why did the musician so bad at social distancing? He was always “chord” in the act!
58. What do you call a germ with a great sense of humor? A “fun-guy”!
59. Why did the tomato refuse to socialize? It was feeling a bit “saucy”!
60. How do you make a tissue dance during lockdown? Put a little “boogie” in it!
61. What did the snowflake say to the face mask? “I envy you; you never melt under pressure!”
62. Why did the bike refuse to go outside during COVID? It was afraid of getting “tyred”!
63. What did one face mask say to another at the supermarket? “Let’s not get too close; we’re not that attached!”
64. How did the introverted germ handle social distancing? It felt right at home!
65. Why was the clock always running away from the pandemic? It wanted to avoid the second wave!
66. What did the coffee bean say to the face mask? “Thanks for brewing up some protection!”
67. How did the astronaut avoid catching the virus? They maintained a “space-ial” distance!
68. What did the umbrella say to the face mask? “We’ve got you covered from head to toe!”
69. Why did the scarecrow always forget to sanitize? He was made of straw-brains!
70. How did the chef handle social distancing? By keeping six feet “apart-chef”!
71. What did the germ say to the hand sanitizer? “I can’t believe you’re rubbing me the wrong way!”
72. Why did the musician so bad at social distancing? He was always “chord” in the act!
73.What do you call a germ with a great sense of humor? A “fun-guy”!
74. Why did the tomato refuse to socialize? It was feeling a bit “saucy”!
75. How do you make a tissue dance during lockdown? Put a little “boogie” in it!
Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially during tough times!
We hope these COVID jokes brought a smile to your face and made your day a little brighter.
Stay safe, stay giggly, and spread the laughter contagion!
Until next time, keep smiling!
