85+ UnBEACHlievably Funny Beach Jokes to Tickle Your Sandcastles!

Pack your sunscreen and get ready to ride the waves of laughter!

We’ve scoured the shores of humor to bring you the ultimate collection of beach jokes that will have you laughing with the tide.

From sandy puns to shell-arious one-liners, it’s time to soak up the giggles like a beach bum in paradise!

List Of 85 Funny Beach Jokes & Puns

1. Why couldn’t the beach read the book? It was sandscript.

2. What do you call a lazy kite? A beach bum.

3. Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.

4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

5. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meow-ntain!

6. Why couldn’t the pony sing? He was a little horse.

7. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.

8. What do you call a pile of frogs? A toadstool!

9. What do you call a cow on a beach? A sand-wich!

10. What do you call a pile of puppies? A litter!

11. Why did the sand blush at the beach? Because the sea kept waving!

12. Did you hear about the beach party for retired pirates? It was a real “Arrrrrr”-nival!

13. What’s a crab’s favorite instrument? The sand-trombone!

14. Why did the sun go to the beach? To catch some rays!

15. What did one seagull say to the other at the beach? “Stop squawking and let’s go catch some fish and chips!”

16. Why did the beach break up with the ocean? It just couldn’t handle the tides of commitment!

17. What do you call a sad beach ball? A sun-deflated ball!

18. What do you call a surfing beetle? A gnarly bug!

19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

20. What do you call a beachcomber who never finds anything? A sandy claus!

21. Why did the beach always win in a fight? It knew how to stay “shore” of trouble!

22. What’s a beach’s favorite magic trick? Making sand-castles disappear at high tide!

23. How does the ocean say hello? It waves!

24. Why do seagulls never get invited to parties? Because they always bring their own chips!

25. Why did the sand run away from the beach? It was tired of being stepped on!

26. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? The king of the beach!

27. Why did the lifeguard go to art school? To master the art of “saving” lives!

28. What’s a crab’s favorite vacation spot? The “shell”-adon islands!

29. Why did the beach umbrella go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being “sun-shaded” all the time!

30. What do you call a crab who plays baseball? A pinch hitter!

31. Why do beach volleyball players make great spies? They’re experts at setting up covert operations!

32. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!

33. What do you call a sandcastle with manners? A polite-y!

34. Why did the sea turtle refuse to play beach games? It didn’t want to get “shell-shocked”!

35. What’s a shark’s favorite game at the beach? Swallow the leader!

36. What do you get when you cross a beach ball with a snowman? Frosty the Sandman!

37. What’s a beachgoer’s favorite kind of math? Sand-trig!

38. Why did the sand go to therapy? It couldn’t cope with its grains of anxiety!

39. How did the beach umbrella feel about its job? It said it had its ups and downs!

40. What do you call a crab with a sunburn? A little red pinch-er!

41. Why did the beach towel blush? Because it saw too many buns!

42. What do you call a nervous seagull? A bagel-biter!

43. How do you talk to a giant clam? You “shell-phone” it!

44. Why did the sand dune go to school? To learn how to make better sand-wiches!

45. What do you call a crab who plays the drums? A crustacean percussionist!

46. How do you make a beach happy? You tide it over with compliments!

47. Why did the seashell refuse to share its food? It was a little “shellfish”!

48. What do you call a beach that’s always cold? A brrr-ach!

49. How do you organize a fantastic beach party? You “sand-wich” everyone together!

50. Why did the seagull sit on the fence? To watch the sand on the other side!

51. What do you call a fish who likes to hang out with the lifeguard? The “buoy”friend!

52. Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because then they’d be “be-gulls”!

53. What did the beach say to the tide when it came in late? “Long time, no sea!”

54. What’s a beachgoer’s favorite type of cookie? Sandy “shore”-tbread!

55. How do you spot a ghost at the beach? It’s the one that’s sheet-white!

56. Why did the beach blush? Because the sea saw right through its sandy facade!

57. What do you call a crab with a black belt in karate? A sensei-sea!

58. How did the sun handle the stress at the beach? It took a ray of sunshine!

59. What did the beach ball say to the sand? “You can’t deflate my spirit!”

60. Why was the sandcastle so bad at math? It couldn’t count on the waves!

61. What do you call a sandy comedian? A beach joker!

62. Why do fish never get good grades at school? They’re always below sea level!

63. What do you call a sunbathing snowman? A puddle!

64. How do you make a sandcastle laugh? You tickle its towers!

65. What’s a crab’s favorite type of music? Shell-abration rock!

66. How do you spot a ghost crab? By its boo-tiful moves on the dance floor!

67. What do you call a surfer who works at a bakery? A wave-maker!

68. Why did the beach party get wild? Someone let the sand out of the bag!

69. What did the sand say to the ocean on a hot day? “Water you doing?”

70. Why did the beach umbrella refuse to share? It said it needed its personal “shade” space!

71. What’s a beach’s favorite kind of footwear? Flip-flops, of course – they’re “sand”-sational!

72. How do you find buried treasure at the beach? Look for the “x”-cellent spot!

73. Why did the crab never share its food? It was afraid of being claw-sterphobic!

74. What’s a beach ball’s favorite type of party? A “bounce” house bash!

75. Why did the fish blush at the beach party? It saw the seaweed and couldn’t kelp but turn red!

76. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!

77. What’s a beach’s favorite social media platform? Instagram – it loves sharing its sea-crets!

78. Why was the beach towel always anxious? It was constantly afraid of being sand-wiched!

79. What do you call a crab who tells jokes? A “claw”-n comedian!

80. How do you politely decline an invitation to a beach party? You say, “Sorry, but I’m feeling a little under the weather – more like ‘under the waves’!”

81. Why do seagulls fly by the sea? Because if they flew by the bay, they’d be bagels!

82. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A “fsh,” but it’s probably too shy to say its name!

83. How do you make a beach laugh? You tell it some sandy jokes!

84. Why was the beach always in good shape? It did a lot of “shore”-obics!

85. What do you get when you cross a surfer with a snowman? A “cool” dude catching some gnarly waves!

As the sun sets on our belly-full of laughs, we hope these beach jokes kept your spirits high and your sunscreen applied liberally.

Remember, even when you’re back on dry land, the waves of laughter never have to end.

Keep sharing these seaside chuckles, and we’ll sea you on the shores of humor again soon!

Stay beachy and keep those smiles afloat!

Lorraine Eastman

Lorraine Eastman

Lorraine Eastman, the laughter maestro behind the scenes, is a comedic genius with a knack for tickling funny bones. With her wit and infectious humor, she's dedicated to spreading joy and smiles, one joke at a time.

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